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My mother grew up in the segregated south, Starkville,
Mississippi, to be exact. Her parents
moved to California in the early 60s just as the Freedom Fighters, as Mom calls
them, came to town putting the residents in grave danger. My mother was finishing her last year of high
school. She stayed with a neighbor until
she graduated, and armed with a few sandwiches and few dollars, she boarded a
bus for a four-day trip to California. It
was a dangerous time for a young black girl to travel anywhere, let alone
unaccompanied in the segregated south. When
I asked her how she did it, she replied:
"I just put my gorilla suit on."
That phrase came from my grandfather. When he found himself faced with something
difficult, he would say, "I guess I have to put my gorilla suit
on."
When I finally left my marriage and, with the help of a
powerful lawyer, negotiated a fair divorce settlement, my mother said:
"I knew you still had that gorilla suit."
What I know now is that I always had my gorilla suit. It seemed to surface when my children were in
trouble, or when a neighbor needed a hand.
What I also know is that our fierce gorilla warrior is not something we
put on, it is something we pull out. My
warrior woman self lives inside of me and always has. If we find ourselves in a difficult situation
or engaged in a battle that seems beyond our means, we can call out the woman
gorilla warrior that lives inside us all.
Affirmations to say in the mirror to yourself during a time
of trial at least twice a day:
I release the need to be a victim in this situation
I release all fear and all doubt
I call on my inner woman gorilla warrior to guide me through this time
of trial
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