Taking Back Your Power in Just 15 Seconds Twice a Day

Quieting the "What if..." in our lives simply requires creating our own identity and boldly stepping onto our own path. We learn our belief patterns by well meaning parents, teachers, community members, and clergy. The hard truth that I had a part in the way my ex-husband treated me was difficult to accept. I tacitly gave him permission to speak to me in a way that did not honor me because I felt comfortable with that way of speaking. As I child, I heard ugly language when my parents fought.  Sometimes that ugly language was directed toward me.  I loved my parents so my little girl mind made that ugly language acceptable. 

Defining who we are for ourselves can be frightening, but it is a powerful way to live our lives. Sometimes we become comfortable with the definitions others place upon us or the beliefs we adapt in childhood to keep ourselves safe.  But when the actions of another person paralyzes us, we have given away our power and must make changes to get it back. We can gain our power back by defining for ourselves who we are and what we believe. 

Changing our state of mind can be accomplished by reminding ourselves where we are whole, where we are wonderful, and the value and joy of our dreams. Once we believe we are no longer in danger, we are not. Once we believe we are capable of supporting ourselves, we do. Once we believe we are loveable and able to attract a loving, caring partner, one arrives. 

Feeling secure is interior work, not something we put on or buy like a pretty dress or a car alarm.  Once we achieve a state of security within, the "what ifs" simply fade into oblivion never to affect us again.  

15 Seconds Twice a Day for 30 days Toward Defining the Real You:  In the morning when you wake, and in the evening before you go to bed, look yourself square in the eye in the mirror and say:

Today, I release all fear

You,  [say your name], are a loving person 

capable of achieving anything you desire

No longer will I let others define me

I take back my power by defining who I am

I am [Fill in the Blank]

10 Reasons Why Our Dreams Don't Come True

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

So you have a dream. You have done everything in your power to make this dream come to fruition. You have prayed, taken classes, visualized, but you do not see the results that you want. 

What most of us do not realize is that our dreams take shape within our belief system. We attract our dreams when we not only actually believe they will come true, but live as though they are true. If we do not believe we can accomplish our dreams because we feel unworthy or lacking in some way, we snatch back our desires and communicate to the Universe that we really don't want our deepest desires.

Signs that our belief system is not aligned with receiving our dreams:

1. We look to others to give us permission to pursue our dreams
2. We make light of our dreams to others 
3. We put conditions on our dreams such as: "When I finish my course," or  "When my children go to college," or "When I lose weight"
4.  We don't give our dreams priority 
5.  We don't take the time to strategically plan out how to reach our dreams 
6.  We fail to ask for help 
7.  We keep our dreams a secret 
8.  We let others alter our visions 
9.  We stop moving forward when someone tells us, "No" 
10.  We believe it when others tell us it is impossible

When we engage in this type of thinking, we are engaging in competing interests.  When we present dual interests to the Universe (we say one thing, but believe another) we attract what we believe, not what we say.

How to Hold on to Our Dreams:

1. Examine our belief system 
2.  Heal the parts of us that allow us to give our dreams away 
3.  Practice self love and step into our dreams before they are complete
4. Move forward despite the fear of failing

The universal law of allowance cannot work on our behalf unless we fully in our hearts and minds are aligned with our dreams.  Then, and only then, will we create the beauty of our dreams for ourselves and for others.  

Our Inner Gorilla Warrior

"The warrior's approach is to say yes to life: yea to all." Joseph Campbell

My mother grew up in the segregated south, Starkville, Mississippi, to be exact.  Her parents moved to California in the early 60s just as the Freedom Fighters, as Mom calls them, came to town putting the residents in grave danger.  My mother was finishing her last year of high school.  She stayed with a neighbor until she graduated, and armed with a few sandwiches and few dollars, she boarded a bus for a four-day trip to California.  It was a dangerous time for a young black girl to travel anywhere, let alone unaccompanied in the segregated south.  When I asked her how she did it, she replied:

"I just put my gorilla suit on."

That phrase came from my grandfather.  When he found himself faced with something difficult, he would say, "I guess I have to put my gorilla suit on." 

When I finally left my marriage and, with the help of a powerful lawyer, negotiated a fair divorce settlement, my mother said:

"I knew you still had that gorilla suit."

What I know now is that I always had my gorilla suit.  It seemed to surface when my children were in trouble, or when a neighbor needed a hand.  What I also know is that our fierce gorilla warrior is not something we put on, it is something we pull out.  My warrior woman self lives inside of me and always has.  If we find ourselves in a difficult situation or engaged in a battle that seems beyond our means, we can call out the woman gorilla warrior that lives inside us all. 

Affirmations to say in the mirror to yourself during a time of trial at least twice a day:

I release the need to be a victim in this situation

I release all fear and all doubt

I call on my inner woman gorilla warrior to guide me through this time of trial

"A warrior never worries about his [or her] fear." - Carlos Castaneda